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What Were My Observations as Speaker for the RBC Women's Retreat?

Hi, I am Gloria; I am from Nigeria.  Hi, I am Margaret; I am from Jamaica. Hi, I am Jana; I am from the Czech Republic.

These were individual members of a group of women from Rutherford Bible Chapel. Our lives briefly intersected when we gathered at historic Keswick Conference Center in New Jersey for their church’s annual Women’s Retreat. I was their speaker, yet I had a lot to learn.

Observation 1: This is a culturally rich part of our nation.

With New York City in the background, Newark Airport looked welcoming, thanks to the friendly greeting by Adriana, our escort. She met us at the curb, and whisked Cymp, my traveling companion and me, away for a cultural experience at Al Basha Restaurant, where we feasted on the best of Middle Eastern cuisine. Flavors and spices from the mouthwatering specialties of bakdunsiah, cucumber & yogurt with olive oil, tabbouleh, hummus, mettabal, kibbi, served with fresh, hot homemade pita bread, created a warm atmosphere for getting to know you conversation. 

Our next stop - Keswick Conference Center, where we would spend our next few days. When we stopped for gas, I was told that Jersey women don’t pump gas. (In fact, no one does. The station provides attendants.)

Observation 2: These are friendly women.

Descending the carpet-covered stairs for dinner into a sea of faces I had never laid eyes on was daunting, even for this extrovert. I should never have worried! One by one, I met cheerful women who obviously loved the Lord and loved each other. Their desire to be together was evident, and their ability to embrace newcomers was exemplary. 

Observation 3: These are praying women.

“Oh hi! You are Debby, our speaker. We have been praying for you.” This refrain came with nearly every introduction. “And where exactly is Larry right now? We have been praying for him as well.” Seriously?

Observation 4: I could relax.

By the time I stood Friday evening to give my first message, I knew I was in the midst of an exceptional group. Each attendee had gone to great pains to be in her seat. Hurdles of jobs, families, deaths, and demands were overcome to make this annual retreat a priority. They wanted to be here; they were eager to learn.

Observation 5: There were a few firsts.

I have never been to a Women’s Retreat that offered a buffet of 10 varieties of homemade biscotti. Oh my! Thank you, Susan. And I have never been to a Women’s Retreat that offered Zumba as a free time activity. Wow! Thank you, Pauline. Rain check. I didn't color either, but a chatty crowd consistently assembled around a table stacked with books and pencils to create take home artwork. Right, Mary Grace?

Observation 6: This is a spiritually healthy group.

Though these women are carrying heavy life loads, they are a spiritually refreshing group. I have drawn a few conclusions as to why:
•    These women are operating in the gifts God has individually given them. The retreat was well organized, and well run.  Mickie with her team of Susan and others prepared ahead, made sure every detail was taken care of, and addressed each need as it arose with kindness and competence. 
•    They are an international, multi-ethnic composite. The nations of Czech Republic, Ghana, Jamaica, Nepal, Nigeria, Trinidad, were represented. Since I have dedicated my life to help fulfill the Great Commission, this profile took my breath away. Standing in their midst I could here the words of Revelation 7:9: “…there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in from of the Lamb.” More than once, I was emotionally moved to be among them.
•    They incorporate a full range of ages, which creates a vibrant sense of community. Dot, our inspiring 90 year old said, “Next week I am writing my check to reserve my place for next year!” How is that for vision? 

So, thank you, Ladies of Rutherford Bible Chapel, for all you taught me. May your tribe increase!

Mississippi Big Babies

Back to the kitchen...

In our family, recipes are living treasures to be cherished and reverentially passed on from one generation to another. Whether it is pecan pie, biscuits, banana pudding, or sweet potato soufflé, recipes represent times shared around a table, memories made with those we love. We savor the experiences just as we savor the food.  So, here is a cookie recipe, which has earned its rightful place in this category of living legacies.

This cookie makes absolutely no claim of being a health food, but I can assure you, you will feel great after consuming one. Mississippi Big Babies hail from a place where heritage & hospitality go hand in hand. Like The Rolling River itself, you will have to roll away if you eat more than two.

 

                               Mississippi Big Babies

Ingredients

1 cup butter                                         2 t. baking soda
1 cup shortening                                  2 t. baking powder   
1 16 oz. box of brown sugar                 1 t. salt
2 cups white sugar                                6 oz. chocolate chips                       
4 eggs                                                   6 oz. peanut butter chips
1 T. vanilla                                           1 cup coconut
4 cups flour                                          1 cup chopped pecans
2 cups oatmeal                                     1 cup raisins
2 cups cornflakes

Instructions

•    Cream butter and shortening. Add brown sugar, white sugar, eggs, and vanilla 

•    Separately, stir together flour, baking powder, soda, and salt. Add to previous mixture. Mix well

•    In a separate bowl, mix together oatmeal, corn flakes, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, coconut, pecans and raisins. Combine with the above and mix, with determination. Honestly, you might be better served to just wash you hands and proceed to mix by hand.

•    Drop by ¼ measures onto a greased cookie sheet

•    Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes

•    Cool - at least try to cool them. Chances are, they are grabbed before this step can be accomplished

Inclusion

These morsels are never intended to be eaten alone. They have a terrific way of building community among friends, teammates, coworkers, clubs, and best of all...family. I remember making them in my tiny kitchen in the Black Forest of Germany and handing them out the window. The smile of appreciation on the face of friends as they walked by was the only ‘thank you’ ever needed. It's amazing, isn't it, how recipes have a fascinating way of connecting people, geography, and gastronomy!

I am eager to hear the memories you make with Mississippi Big Babies, no matter where you live. Will you share your adventure with me?

Looking at Life Through the Lenses of Death

The doorbell rang. Larry was there, and welcomed our guest. From my curled up position on our family room couch, I recognized the voice to be Patty’s. Her gentle, sweet words carried like a melody from the foyer. Holding a hanging basket of soft yellow petunias, she greeted me with, “I brought these for you to enjoy all summer. I want them to remind you of your Daddy.”  Unexpected tears…

Then Patty issued an invitation. “I want to take you to lunch and just listen to you talk. I want you to tell me everything that has happened.” Her words reached deep, igniting within my soul the realization of how very much I want to talk.

So, will you allow me to talk?  Right here, right now? I promise not to stay forever on this piece of emotional geography, but for now, I want to talk.

Trust me, I am peacefully joyful and tearful amidst this cauldron of emotions. My heart soars for all I have to be thankful. And yet,

I want to talk, because death is teaching me so much about life.

Looking at life through the lenses of death I see:

Relationships rise like the glow of the morning sun when death comes to call-

My own life paraded before me in the context of Daddy’s death. Relationships of a lifetime surfaced and provided a steady stream of comfort: my boyfriend when I was a 3-year-old, my kindergarten companions, my grammar school classmates, my high school friends, my university relationships, and more…way more. Aunts, uncles, cousins - first, second, third cousins, and friends…make that Friends with a capital F; friends came out of the woodwork. From around the globe, this collection of people coalesced together to teach me the eternal value of our temporal relationships.

Looking at life through the lenses of death I see:

1st Responders are the saints God sends to push away the thunder clouds of sorrow-

Celeste with food, Clare with flowers, adult children with their presence, all dropping life to offer comfort. Near and far (a plant from my Bible study, a floral arrangement from our church group) the ministry of 1st Responders takes my breath away.

Looking at life through the lenses of death I see:

In spite of death, life goes on-

My Mother and I waited for the hospice nurse to arrive, we waited for the coroner to arrive, and we waited for the funeral home director to arrive. Finally, the waiting was over, and for the last time, we walked out the front door of the nursing home to our car. No more waiting.

At 4:00 am the air was warm and the birds were singing. And we were hungry. At her suggestion, Mama and I went through the drive through at McDonald’s.

Should I tell the voice behind the speaker that my Daddy had just gone to heaven? Should I describe the hole in my heart to the worker handing out Egg and Cheese McGriddle’s through the pick up window? I don’t even like Egg and Cheese McGriddle’s. Why did they have to be out of Egg McMuffin's today, of all days, April 21st?

Real life goes on... 

My black pantyhose had a hole.

A snake, a cottonmouth moccasin, was killed at the front door.

A grandchild was sick and needed a doctor.

The children wanted to go swimming when we left the cemetery.

Real life goes on…Even when invaded by death, life beats with a normal pulse.

Looking at life through the lenses of death I see:

Practical suggestions to offer so you can be prepared-

  • Have a black dress ready and hanging in your closet. Likely, you won’t have time to shop.
  • Prepare an outline for an obituary. You don’t want a stranger writing about the life of the one you know so well.
  • Keep your head in the face of your tidal wave of emotions. “I asked the Lord for composure; I wanted to be able to take in everything going on around me.” Mama

Looking at life through the lenses of death I see:

The sacred place of children in the midst of sadness-

After dinner one evening, our four-year-old grandson David climbed into a chair beside his tearful Great Grandmother. With every ounce of his heart, he looked up at her and spoke unrehearsed words of wisdom way beyond his years.

“Great Gammy, don’t be sad. Pappy is in heaven with Jesus, and you will see him again someday. He still loves you, and you are still married to him. Some people just have to die.”

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me for such is the kingdom of heaven.” Yes!

 

So you see, death is teaching me so much about life.  

"It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart." (Ecclesiastes 7:2) Solomon was right.