Father's Day Cameo

Before you go, I want you to tell me everything I need to know about taking care of her. You are leaving soon, and you know far more than I do. Please, before you go, just tell me what it is I need to know. Tell me everything.

The look on my son-in-law Matt's face told the story. He sat in the leather Pottery Barn rocker, bleary eyed from sleep depravity. I stood nearby at the changing table with my hands resting on our Newborn Angel.

Her difficult debut left us enveloped in cobwebs of exhaustion - the lengthy birthing process, the extended hospital stay, the urgent return to ICU. Thankfully, Our Baby rebounded. Under one roof again, Operation Newborn gained momentum, and ours became a high-po team.

But now, in the soft light of the nursery lamp, the reality of my upcoming departure hung in the air. The challenges seemed daunting with one adult out of the picture.

In earnest humility, sitting forward in the rocker, Matt articulated his need: Before you go, I want you to tell me everything I need to know about taking care of her. You are leaving soon, and you know far more than I do. Please, before you go, just tell me what it is I need to know. Tell me everything.

The internet provides voluminous information for today's new parents, but it does not provide encouragement. And new parents need seasoned encouragement. After all, Google has never walked the floor all night with a crying baby.

Thus, as Father’s Day approaches, I find myself still pondering this young father's request: I want you to tell me everything I need to know about taking care of her.

Matt, I am honored you asked. Though I cannot tell you everything you need to know, I willingly share with you several pivotal priorities. The answer to your question is not that complicated. Yet, it needs a lifetime to accomplish.

Love:

Love her to the Lord - lead her to The Lord. She is not yours; she belongs to Him. Introduce her to Him and to His Word - early and consistently. Love her lavishly; envelop her with grace and truth. You don’t have to be a perfect Dad to be a wonderful Dad. Love trumps perfection. Love her Mother; intentionally work to keep your marriage relationship fresh and healthy. Love.

Engage:

Embrace parenting as a privilege - invest wholeheartedly into each phase of the process. Do not wait until you have confidence for the mission to be involved in the mission. Spend time with her at every age and stage of her development, and grow with her.  If you want her to talk to you as a teenager, talk to her as a toddler. Don’t blink; high school graduation is just around the corner. Someone said, Thedaysarelongbuttheyearsareshort. Engage.

Pray:

Be a praying Dad. Look to the Lord in vulnerable humility for the ongoing, supernatural wisdom you need. Emulate the prayer of Manoah, Samson’s father: O Lord…teach us how to bring up the child. (Judges 13:8) Be mindful that no one has ever brought up your little girl. Only God Himself has the blueprint. Be quick to ask Him for guidance. Pray.

Relax:

Be gracious to yourself. You won’t get it 100% right 100% of the time. Laugh with her; allow her to know you. Teach her, but also let her teach you. Allowing my children to help me grow up became one of my greatest joys in parenting. Relax.

Matt, though I ache to provide a complete answer to your genuine question, I could never tell you everything you need to know. But God can - and He will. On this your first Father's Day, I commit my ongoing prayers and loving support. Faye is blessed beyond measure to have you guiding her life. As she places her hand in your hand, as you place your hand in God's Hand, you will always have Light for the next step. And, as you pursue parenting with all your heart, remember: ...underneath are The Everlasting Arms. (Deut. 33:27)

Living with Eternal Intentionality: What encouragement would you offer a new father?

Why I Love Being a Grandmother

Where do you want to go? 

I eagerly anticipated this moment; I anticipated both her companionship and our topic. Sophia, my firstborn granddaughter, selected her favorite ice cream shop for our conversation. No ordinary venue would do; our momentous occasion called for a special setting.

On this one quiet Saturday afternoon, my life and hers would intersect. While she is a third grader, I wanted to stop time and take her back to my own Third Grade Story. The conversation would be short, but significant.

Sophia, in a most grown up manner, guided me through the menu to select cookies and cream in a waffle cone. She chose the same flavor, but wanted hers in a bowl.

Sitting at a vintage soda fountain ice cream table, we settled in to savor our treats. Here I launched. Bright-eyed, Sophia listened eagerly as I described a page from the journal of my life.

Sophia, once upon a time…

On a night long ago, a little third grade girl went to a meeting in her small country church. That night, this little third grade girl listened for the first time to a woman tell her own life story of being a missionary in Africa. In a gentle way, God tugged at the young girl’s heart. When the meeting ended, this third grader boldly walked past all the pews and all the people gathered, to speak privately to the missionary woman.

She patiently waited her turn in line, but finally her moment came. Standing beside the guest speaker, the little girl looked up and said,  “Mam, I believe you were speaking to me. Tonight, I believe you were speaking to me.”

The kind woman paid close attention, and waited for the little girl to finish. Then, she looked deeply into the little girl’s eyes, and responded with one life-changing sentence. “Honey, make it know; make it known.”

Sophia…

I know this story to be true, for I was that little third grade girl. I listened to the missionary woman, and I spoke to her afterwards. What she said to me that night made a difference for the rest of my life. And this is the most important part of The Third Grade Story: I have never been sorry. 

I have never been sorry that God touched my heart as a little third grade girl to give me the desire to be a missionary. This true story means so much to me, and I wanted to share it with you, while you my granddaughter, are in the third grade.

Sophia paused, and then smiled her signature gentle, sweet smile. Time stood still. I captured the moment with every corpuscle of my being.

Sophia and I left the ice cream shop, and moved on to the grocery store to buy plastic eggs for our upcoming family Easter gathering. She and I set up production at a table in the deli section. We sorted colors and coins, and filled the dozens of pastel eggs with quarters and nickels. We giggled and speculated who would find the golden egg. (Gammy, we have to have a golden egg! )

Shortly thereafter, I drove her home, and we hugged goodbye. Alone again in my car, I sighed deep within. I thought, I love being a Grandmother, and it is not hard to understand why: her life, my life, our great God.

Sophia was first to hear The Third Grade Story. Soon, Grace, Sabrina, Vera – one day David and Faye - will follow.

Our conversation may not always take place in an ice cream shop; the flavor may not always be cookies and cream. But, The Third Grade Story will always have the same beginning:

Once upon a time…

On a night a long ago, a little third grade girl went to a meeting in her small country church. And, The Third Grade Story will always have the same ending: I have NEVER been sorry.

Living with eternal intentionality: “One generation shall praise Thy works to another.” (Psalm 145:4) What story are you excited to tell the next generation?

A Collection of Twenty-Six Suggestions for the Summer

Rrriiinnnggg! The bell rings on the final day of the school year, and the child in each of us gleefully shouts “School is out; summer is here!”

The phrase last day of school, first day of summer still carries a nostalgic tug. The season between Memorial Day and Labor Day holds promises only dreamed of back in icicles and snow. Shorts and sandals replace heavy coats and boots; mentally we shed our calendars of full schedules and daunting demands.

Or do we?

Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life sits on my bookshelf as a classic. I recently reread author Charles Swindoll’s take on summer. He wrote, “If God considered this planet needed several months of summer, it stands to reason that His people are equally in need of refreshment and rest…That doesn’t mean a lazy, irresponsible life-style full of indolence and free of industry. No, this is first and foremost a mental rest, a quiet confidence in the living Lord. A refusal to churn, to fret, to strive. The summer season symbolizes all this and more, much more.”

I need Swindoll’s reminder, especially the refusal-to churn-to fret-to strive part. How about you? Could you benefit from unstringing the bow for a bit?

Regardless of our season of life or season of family structure, the season of summer offers opportunity to pursue refreshment. I created a variety of twenty-six suggestions to encourage the both of us to let up, and embrace the opportunity to pursue personal enrichment.

Sit outside and drink ice tea

Go on a daily walk

Invite a friend and her children to go on a picnic

Invest in a pool pass

Catch fireflies

Attend a seminar at the local library

Visit a relative

Plant an eggshell garden and later transfer to the yard

Read a book (Consider Swindoll’s Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life)

Trade babysitting with another Mom and go alone to a museum; stop for tea and scones before returning home

Eat meals outdoors as much as possible

Listen to an audiobook

Get a pedicure and use an outlandish polish color

Go for ice cream even when restaurant dining is too costly

Wear flip-flops

Attend a baseball game

Pull your hair back in a ponytail more often

Have a lemonade stand with your children or grandchildren

Go on a bike ride with a friend

Have a scavenger hunt with the end treasure being tickets to the zoo

Make s’mores

Offer to babysit for a young couple to have an evening out

Read Proverbs each of the 31 days of July - one for each day

Consider opting out of Facebook for a season

Wade in a stream

Be glad to see the arrival of September, knowing you enjoyed your summer

Living with Eternal Intentionality: What will you do for refreshment this summer?