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Feeling Like a Failure

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Pulling back the Iron Curtain to view real life behind that Iron Curtain...

[Part One: The Night the Vice President Came to Dinner]

Part Two: An interlude into the account 

Upon entering our home, Mr. Vice President interacted with our three pajama-clad children, and I busied myself putting his lovely bouquet of roses into a vase. Having the entire focus of such a kind man seemed to bring out the best in our munchkins. He held their rapt attention and spoke of his own three children, their dogs, their home in a distant land, and a recent opportunity—of all things—to go scuba diving.

Before the younger Thompsons said goodnight, we invited our dignified guest to read their bedtime devotional to them. This request did not exist in isolation, rather, it stood as a tradition in our family. Living a dual life as undercover missionaries in a Communist nation required us to use our home as command central for most of our clandestine activities. Thus, many of God’s choicest saints walked through our front door, and we believed their influence was a blessing to be harnessed. Typically, we invited the guest to read the Bible and pray with our little people before they shuffled off to bed.

This particular evening fit with our pattern, and Mr. Vice President gladly engaged. While reading the story, he also, simply, clearly and warmly, shared the Gospel, the message of salvation. After prayer, I led them upstairs and tucked each into bed, two in one room, and the oldest in another.  

On this night, I wasted no time in the routine. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss, sweet dreams, sleep tight, night, night. I pulled the door closed behind me, and blithely descended the stairs. Children in bed…guest in living room…Debby in kitchen. All is well.

But not for long.

In Part One, you recall, my entire meal ended up in the garbage. And, between entrée number one and entrée number two of the ghastly concoction, I nervously made an appearance in the living room to assure the pair of gentlemen, my husband, and Mr. Vice President, that all was well.

Now, upon leaving the living room, and before returning to the crisis in the kitchen, I thought it wise to check in on the sleeping angels upstairs.

Oh, my word. Nothing could have prepared me for the naughty behavior playing out behind the door of that bedroom where two of our three children slept. No, the two were not under their covers; they were not even in their bunk beds. Who knows how long they had been at their mischief. 

In partnership, using a small tea strainer, my offspring were having a jolly good time with their own version of "go fishing" as they—one by one—lifted their fish out of the aquarium to study their anatomy. With water around them on the floor, these two were a colossal mess. Yes, they were small children, but they knew better.

Whoa! My circumstances were rolling over me, and I had no plan for backup. Downstairs an international guest sat in my living room waiting for a home cooked meal, which was now tossed out. And Upstairs I had two wet, naughty children standing wide-eyed with a mess of dead fish around them.

Compartmentalizing my horror, I placed motherhood on hold and shoved them back into bed with a promise to deal with this, and with them, in the morning. I closed the door, left the Crisis Upstairs and returned to the Crisis Downstairs.

Tiptoeing past the living room door, too traumatized to go in, I reentered the kitchen, the scene of the original Crisis. Feeling like a failure as a hostess (for good reason), and feeling like a failure as a mother (for good reason), I took a deep breath, and looked at the communist clock on the wall. This was the 1980’s behind the Iron Curtain, and there was no such thing as takeout pizza, or for that matter, takeout anything.

I begged God for composure just to keep going. “Lord help me,” was my fervent and genuine prayer. The angel of the Lord camps around those who fear him, and he delivers them (Psalm 34:7). The Word of God and the Spirit of God worked overtime on my behalf in the kitchen, and as you know from Part One, the evening eventually came to an end.

At least the rice was good.

[Part Three to follow.]

What Is Your Epithet?

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Have you given much thought to your epithet?

Ours is a performance oriented, pressure driven world. Do you agree? Calendars, schedules, appointments, commitments, parties, play-off's all compete for focus and rudely crowd out peace.

I recall a particular season of high-octane life where enough was absolutely never enough—not enough hours in a day, not enough days in a week, not enough weeks in a month. Before one meeting ended, the next began. Before the suitcase was unpacked from one journey, I was off on the next. My calendar’s appetite seemed insatiable. You get the picture. This relentless urgency showed no mercy.

Taking my exhaustion and bewilderment to the Lord, I discovered an oasis in Mark 14:8a. She did what she could. Did I read that correctly? She did what she could.

The Voice of Grace penetrated my thinking and permeated my soul with a Word of supernatural refreshment.

She did what she could. Acceptance

She did what she could. Approval

She did what she could. Affirmation

Pleasing the Savior is the supreme priority for any woman; worshipping Him is the ultimate activity for any century and culture.

Wow! What a relief…I want this to be my epithet. She did what she could.

Living With Eternal Intentionality

How would you like your epithet to read?

The Night Mr. Vice President Came to Dinner

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Pulling back the Iron Curtain for a down to earth view behind that Iron Curtain...

Let’s just get to the bottom of this: the night ended in a disaster. There you have it.

Now back to the beginning…

The Vice President of our organization was coming for dinner! Living behind the Iron Curtain made us deeply appreciative of any visitor, especially one from our global leadership team. Imagine our excitement.

This gentleman’s godly reputation preceded him, and the opportunity to host him in our home afforded a rare privilege. New in his organizational position, he set about traveling around the world visiting our mission’s personnel.

The doorbell rang, and there at our Warsaw, Poland iron gate stood a sight for sore eyes. Dressed in a light brown ultra suede sports coat, Mr. Vice President held a gorgeous bouquet of a dozen pink roses. Such kindness! 

After warmly greeting our children, Mr. Vice President and Larry made their way into our tiny living room. I hastily tucked our three children into bed upstairs and returned to the kitchen to put the final touches on our meal.

Horror number one: the menu was absurd. For some overachieving reason, I planned to serve shrimp creole over rice. Mind you, I shopped in a Communist economy where the only shrimp available were (ahemmm…) canned shrimp. C.a.n.n.e.d shrimp. Why didn't I serve pierogi, barsc, kielbasa or gołabki? Any one of these as an entrée, served with cucumber salad and lody for dessert, would have made the meal a cultural success. But no. It had to be shrimp creole.

Horror number two: Following my mother’s recipe, I added vinegar to the shrimp. She used lemon juice, but I did not have lemon juice. Wouldn’t vinegar work just as well? (If you need an answer for this, no answer will do.)

 Horror number three: Just before notifying Mr. Vice President and Larry— still buried in hushed, clandestine conversation in the living room—that dinner was being served, I privately performed the ceremonial chef’s taste test. Well…the shock to my system confirmed one’s worst nightmare; the concoction tasted ghastly.

Not to be deterred, I casually sauntered to the living room and briefly (nervously) chatted. From the doorway, as I walked out, I turned and commented that dinner would be just a few more minutes.

Back in the kitchen, I desperately went to work in a race against the clock.

Starting all over, with more canned shrimp, minus the vinegar, I desperately needed God to do what I could not do and make this preparation worth eating. I wish I could tell you God worked a miracle, but I cannot. Long overdue, we eventually sat down to a meal I was embarrassed to serve.

I stole a furtive glance at Mr. Vice President when he took his first bite to see if he gagged. When he kept going, I breathed a sigh of relief. However, he declined seconds. (Do you blame him?)

Pulling Back the Curtain for a down to earth view behind that Iron Curtain, you realize the humanness of one family’s household. Allow me to add that The Night Mr. Vice President Came to Dinner offers a glorious rebound, which will be served in another blog post.

Living With Eternal Intentionality

When have you found yourself in an embarrassing situation which called for God's grace to "just get through it?"