Holding Tightly: Releasing Eventually

Greetings from the intriguing country of Indonesia. Larry and I are here to represent Athletes in Action International to leaders in this nation and throughout Southeast Asia. I am particularly thrilled for the opportunity to speak to a group of women on the topic: GPS for Life with a Leader.

Dayle Rogers, my friend and colleague, is guest writer of this week's post. Dayle describes herself as wife of one, mother of six, nana to nine, grateful follower of Jesus, lover of people, words and fun.

Dayle has served with the organization Cru for over 42 years, and for 19 of those years, at the organizational headquarters Lake Hart in Orlando. “I love my job! I get to work with our staff in transition, people who are not only amazing lovers of Jesus but who do their best to live and make known the gospel.”

Read more from Dayle at Tip of My Iceberg or connect with Dayle on FB.

Now for her enriching post…

Holding Tightly: Releasing Eventually

It’s January, and our Christmas tree is still up.

It’s not artificial; it’s very real. Was once very alive. We’ve had it since November 23–it’s been in our family room for over six weeks.

The tree has lost very few needles. It’s quite green, with a wonderful fresh aroma that still fills the room.

I don’t want to get rid of it.

It has stood sentinel over our holiday gatherings. It’s been the quiet observer in the corner as presents were unwrapped and babies tried to pull ornaments from its very gracious branches.

And it has been my companion late at night and early in the mornings when I sit alone, reading, writing, praying, thinking. I’ve left the lights on more than I’ve left them off, and I’ve come to appreciate their gentle glow in the background.

John (my husband) has been patient with me. He put “Christmas” away a week ago and quietly left a bin in the family room to hold our ornaments. A gentle nudge to get the job done.

I moved the bin.

There’s been so much going on with this new year. Some things are really great; others are hard. The tree has stood there, like a friend.

It hasn’t been faithful to stand throughout the past month and a half. It fell while I was away, breaking some of my favorite ornaments. It’s quite large and even now tips to one side. John put it back up, redecorating even though he’d have been happy leaving the whole thing down.

He loves me that well.

I’ll take the tree down. Eventually. It is, after all, a dead tree. Hanging on to whatever time is left. It won’t drink any more water so it won’t last much longer. It will dry out sooner rather than later. It will be tossed to the curb for pick-up and will be a memory.

I have many things in my life that I struggle to release. People. Circumstances. Things. Special parts of life that have mattered, for one reason or another.

Nothing and nobody will last forever. Not this side of heaven.

I lost my mom and several friends this past year. Death happens to all of us. I’ve had disappointments and the loss of a few dreams lately that meant something to me.

Life won’t end with losses. They’re very much a part of life.

It’s learning to live in light of loss. Recognizing that there are some things in my life I can’t lose.

Like my relationship with Jesus.

He’s with me in all things. The good and the bad; the things that work and those that don’t. He’s the Sentinel that stands by me, even if I can’t see Him. The One who is with me, even in the crowds of loneliness. The One who hears my voice whenever I call.

Nobody else has that kind of staying power. Nothing else can satisfy what I really need.

I guess I can let my Christmas tree go.

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

What loss (relationship, friendship, dream) did you suffer in 2018?

How did that loss remind you of your deep need for the unchanging love of Jesus?

I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5b).

Buzzword for January

Long before you are ready, the buzzword inserts itself from all corners of your life. It is just that time of year. Like mushrooms in the forest, the term starts pops up everywhere.

For instance, your coworker asks you in a casual chat around the office party buffet. Then, from your pew you listen as your pastor tackles the topic. Even your friend brings up the subject when the two of you take off on the exercise trail.

The buzzword? G. O. A. L. S.

Whether sophisticated or simple — general or generic — New Year’s goals have a way of wedging themselves into our psyche with the intent of changing our lives. We tell ourselves, “I want to go from where I am to where I want to be, and furthermore, here is my plan and here is my timeline.”

Hopefully, you and I are energized by articulating these new challenges, and allow them to spur us on to maturity. But, if we mishandle the process, they become like an earpiece always reminding us of who you are not and what we have not accomplished.

Take a moment and consider your attitude. How would you best describe your true feelings about New Year’s goals?

• good suggestions

• guidelines

• mandates

• dictates

• unachievable

• necessary, but unpleasant

• a bother, but required

• fixed

• flexible

• leave you in a heap of introspection

Personally, I like goals, and setting targets motivates me. However, life has taught me that the clearer the goal, the simpler the plan, the more likely I am to see growth or progress.

So, how can goals actually become a helpful catalyst and weave their way into the fabric of our lives?

Into this January environment, I suggest three goals for setting goals:

1. Start with the best goal of all goals; Make it our goal to please Him.

So we make it our goal to please him… (2 Corinthians 5:9).

First and foremost, mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally…

Personally, professionally…

Today, tomorrow, next week, next month…

2. Rely on His wisdom

Our propensity is do a personal inventory with our limited human perspective and, fueled by self-focus, we charge headlong into the planning process. On the other hand, God’s supernatural wisdom is available to us for the asking. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

3. Follow through in the power of the Holy Spirit

To avoid the February derailment of January goals, rely on the power of the Holy Spirit for ongoing fruitful change. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. (John 15:4).

Living With Eternal Intentionality™

What is your honest opinion about New Year’s goals?

Did you set such goals this year? If so, why or why not?

How does the question and answer from the Westminster Catechism add clarity to setting goals at the outset of a New Year?

Q: What is the chief end of man?

A: Man's chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

What is one goal you believe God has for you to glorify Him and enjoy Him in 2019?

On My Way Back to Normal

Did they know? As I stood in the doorway, clad in my red fleece robe, clutching a warm mug of strong coffee, and waving goodbye, I wondered. Did they know they left with part of my heart packed away in their multiple pieces of luggage?

True, the presence of this part of me won’t cause them to be overweight at the airport; it won’t even show up on the TSA scan. But with their departure, our Christmas 2018 officially becomes a collection of memories. It is over. Slowly and with hesitation, I turn back through the front door and walk into our silent house. That singular motion initiates the journey on my way back to normal.

Snuggling under the warm afghan, tucked in a comfortable spot in my favorite brown leather chair, I gaze out the window. The nonstop, cold rain matches my spirits.

On my way back to normal…

I take inventory of my surroundings:

The Christmas tree stands forlorn.

The poinsettias look wilted.

The stockings—once brimming—hang empty and limp.

The glorious chaos is gone.

On my way back to normal…

I take inventory of my feelings:

I am too thankful to cry, but too sad to charge ahead. (I miss them already!)

Fatigue—my companion, but not my friend—lowers my guard.

My emotions vacillate back and forth like a confused compass needle.

I am not so sure I like normal.

On my way back to normal…

I take inventory of my blessings:

Doing the math, I acknowledge that 4 generations, of 15 lives, overlapping for 10 days are rare gifts to be savored.

Furthermore, I calculate that no one got sick, there were no injuries, and no appliances broke down.

And, I admit that shared activities received a Five Star Review:

• attending the spectacular Nutcracker performance, inclusive of a backstage tour

• worshipping together on Christmas Eve

• savoring our family’s traditional raclette meal

• taking grandchildren to see the new Mary Poppins movie and giving parents a much-needed break

• visiting the Cincinnati Zoo and being gobsmacked with a view of the world renowned baby hippo Fiona !

On my way back to normal…

I acknowledge that normal arrived too quickly for my heart. However, normal is now God’s current sweet spot of abundant joy for me. Normal allows for extended quiet times in the Scriptures, conversations with Larry by the fire, relaxed evenings with a Hallmark movie. And normal offers an upcoming calendar full of opportunity and promise. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

So, on my way to stretch out for a long overdue nap, I smile and embrace the quiet, calm beauty of normal.

Living With Eternal Intentionality™

How do you feel about your return to normal after a busy holiday schedule?

What is your inventory of your surroundings, your feelings, your blessings?

Why can you trust God’s plans for you?