A Golden Opportunity on a Golden Anniversary

Excitement filled the air as we climbed the stairs to the restaurant’s upper level. This spring evening marked the 50th Golden Wedding Anniversary celebration for our dear friends. Larry and I had known this couple for 42 of those years, and we were asked to conduct an interview with the honorees for the invited guests. We wondered, “What constituted ‘together’ for their 18, 250 days?”

In this season when weddings stack up on our calendars, it feels magical to turn the spotlight on a triumphant marriage of fifty years, five decades of living life side by side, hand in hand.

Below are the questions we thoughtfully—prayerfully—crafted for the husband and wife. A second list exists, but, due to time, these were eliminated beforehand. Still, they may be useful to you should you have the occasion to interact with such a couple.

50th Golden Wedding Anniversary Questions

1. How did you meet?

2. When did you first know you were in love?

3. Describe the proposal.

4. What details do you remember from your wedding day?

5. Who has been the most influential (human) person in contributing to the longevity of your marriage?

6. What was the most surprising discovery about your spouse—after you were already married—a characteristic that you did not care for?

7. How has being in ministry played a factor in your marriage?

8. Which decade was your hardest and why?

9. Which decade was your most meaningful and why?

10. Speak to your challenges: What has been the greatest challenge you faced in your marriage?

11. What has been your greatest blessing?

12. What shared habits have contributed to the richness of your marriage?

13. What is the bottom line, best advice, you have to offer newly weds today?

Supplementary Questions

Where did you go on your honeymoon? Have you since revisited the location?

How many moves have you made, and how have these affected your marriage?

Did you ever feel, “Oh no! I am not sure our marriage is going to make it.” If so, when?

What communication habits have helped and which have harmed?

Which location was your favorite to call home? Why?

What have you been afraid of in your marriage?

What subjects cause the most disagreements? Do you have topics you refuse to discuss because you will never agree?

What would you like to go back and do over?

How have you resolved conflict in your marriage?

What prayer and devotional habits do you have as a couple?

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

“Teach us to number our days that we may present to You a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12 NASB).

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (I Corinthians 13:4-7 NASB).

1. What question would you like to ask a couple married for 50 years?

2. Do you know a couple married for 50 years? If so, what have you learned from their marriage?

3. If you have been married for 50 years, congratulations! Please select a question from above and offer us your advice. We are all listening.

Difficult Circumstances Don't Go Away

She wrote to ask for my help. The details of her story poured out on my computer screen, and gripped me with sadness. How could one’s life, so fully devoted to Christ, be caught in this severity of confusion and misunderstanding? Could I possibly offer a balm of encouragement for her aching soul?

Since Difficult Circumstances Don’t Go Away, where do you and I—like my friend—find the how-to’s for scaling life’s granite faced mountain?

Pulling from the Pages of God’s Word and from the archives of my own life, I offer three dynamic ropes:

How to face difficult circumstances:

Recognize that He is with us!

Isaiah 43:1-4b

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; … Since you are precious and honored in my sight … and because I love you …

How to survive difficult circumstances:

Realize that He provides for us!

2 Peter 1:3

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

How to thrive in difficult circumstances:

Rejoice that He prospers us!

2 Corinthians 9:8 NKJV

And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work.

I turned a corner in maturity when I unearthed the following erroneous patterns:

When

•Erroneous thinking leads us to believe that life will be great when this problem is solved, when this trial abates, when this challenge is met, when this person transfers. When, when, when, when, when. Wrong. Life is not when; life is now.

Either/or

•Erroneous assumptions cause us to think that life is either/or; either filled with joy or filled with sorrow, one or the other. Quite the contrary. Both sorrow and joy exist—even coalesce—simultaneously in our sojourn.

Fix it; then forge ahead

•Erroneous tendencies tempt us to try and fix life, and then get on with living. Such a perspective is simply not accurate. No. Walking in the power of the Holy Spirit, armed with the Word of God, we forge ahead, and carry life right along with us.

No wonder, we celebrate the Words of Psalm 84: 5,7.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage … They go from strength to strength …. So, my fellow climber, take a deep breath, and breathe in celestial air right in the midst of pollution. Take a deep breath and keep scaling onward and upward, difficult circumstances and all.

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

Which of the above Scriptures brings you the most encouragement in a circumstance you currently face?

Where does God want you to turn a corner in maturity by correcting an erroneous pattern of thinking about life?

One Epic Drama of Motivation, Perseverance, and Focus

Sadness descended upon me when the book ended. I like I was saying goodbye to a boatload of dear friends. Literally.

The Boys in the Boat is a compelling drama involving the lives of nine American athletes and their journey to Hitler’s Germany in the 1936 Olympics. Author David James Brown—almost poetically—weaves the personal lives of these young men into the gripping events leading up to World War II. Incorporating romance, suspense, history, drive, and dreams, he brings the reader to practically sit inside the boat with these University of Washington boys on their heroic adventure to the Langer See in Berlin.

Inspirational Quotes: Motivation

A smorgasbord of quotes from George Yeoman Pocock, the team’s shell builder, add intrigue and insight into the overall wonder of the manuscript.

Rowing is perhaps the toughest of sports. Once the race starts, there are no time-outs, no substitutions. It calls upon the limits of human endurance. The coach must therefore impart the secrets of the special kind of endurance that comes from mind, heart, and body. (p. 71)

Rowing a race is an art, not a frantic scramble. It must be rowed with head power as well as hand power. From the first stroke all thoughts of the other crew must be blocked out. Your thoughts must be directed to you and our own boat, always positive, never negative. (p. 105)

Good thoughts have much to do with good rowing. It isn’t enough for the muscles of a crew to work in unison; their hearts and minds must also be as one. (p. 297)

To see a winning crew in action is to witness a perfect harmony in which everything is right…. That is the formula for endurance and success: rowing with the heart and head as well as physical strength. (p. 321)

Insightful Lesson: Perseverance

When you row … your body burns calories and consumes oxygen at a rate that is unmatched in almost any other human endeavor, Physiologists, in fact, have calculated that rowing a two-thousand-meter race—the Olympic standard—takes the same physiological toll as playing two basketball games back-to-back. And it exacts that toll in about six minutes. (p. 40)

Invaluable Take-Away: Focus

“M-I-B, M-I-B, M-I-B!” This command shouted from the coxswain … was a reminder that from the time an oarsman steps into a racing shell until the moment that the boat crosses the finish line, he must keep his mind focused on what is happening inside the boat. His whole world must shrink down to the small space with the gunwales … Nothing outside the boat—not the boat in the next lane over, not the cheering of a crowd of spectators, not last night’s date—can enter the successful oarsman’s mind. (p. 89)

In summary, I agree with author David Laskin: “This is Chariots of Fire with oars.”

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

When did you last read a book that left you sad for it to end?

Describe the inspiration you gained from its contents.

What was one lasting, invaluable take-away?