10 Don’t Ever’s

Debby Thompson

May 12, 2021

Don’t Ever . . .

Don’t Ever shove your dirty dishes into the oven to get them out of the way.

My mother popped in for a surprise visit and turned on the oven to heat the donuts she brought as a treat.

Don’t Ever ask a hurting person what God is teaching them.

In difficult circumstances, sometimes it is difficult to ascertain what God is teaching us.

In difficult circumstances, most often, it does not matter what God is teaching us; it only matters who God is.

In difficult circumstances, a shoulder, not a question is needed.

Don’t Ever buy the cheapest underwear.

If you need an explanation for this, no explanation will do.

Don’t Ever set a timer when you are having a conversation with your spouse.

The gift of presence is often the greatest warmth and encouragement you can bring to marital communication. Don’t chill it with the cold reminder of your busyness.

Don’t Ever be too rushed to stop at a child’s lemonade stand.

A child’s heart is in that project, and you have an opportunity to pour encouragement while that young one pours the beverage.

Don’t Ever compromise your commitment to tell the truth.

In speaking recently to a middle school chapel, I urged the students to do the right thing even when the right thing is the hard thing. Dodging or deluding the truth will lead one into deeper weeds, not into deeper character. Truth solves problems, heals relationships, and brings light into darkness—always.

Don’t Ever think that venting will achieve your desired outcome.

Venting makes one feel a momentary release; prayer makes one feel an ongoing peace. And, I have learned, it is usually either-or. Invest more time praying and less time venting.

Don’t Ever give away ALL the toddler toys.

Your small bin of outgrown toys can make a young mom and her toddler feel welcomed in your home.

Don’t Ever assume your compliment translates within other cultures.

When I admired the vibrant painting hanging on the wall of their apartment, the Eastern European couple removed the artwork and insisted that it become mine. I felt so sad.

Don’t Ever forget the three best prayers.

Thy will be done; Lord, help me; I believe, help my unbelief.

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

What are one or two of your Don’t Ever’s? Your comments will add flavor to the conversation.

Debby Thompson

May 5, 2021

I'll Never Forget the Silk Corsage

Debby Thompson

May 5, 2021

*It must have been spring. The holiday must have been Easter. She was getting closer to her due date, and we were holding our breaths.*

Her previous miscarriages made this pregnancy especially precious. Being an only child of 9 years acutely intensified my desperate longing to have a sibling. I would have done anything for her. So I thought.

There we stood, just the two of us, in the aisle of the Dime Store as the local Woolworth’s was called. It was hot, and the store was empty. I still hear the quietness. Tall shelves towered on the back wall, but we stood near the short counters in the middle section. I held something in my hand, and she held something in hers. Mine was a purse, and I will never forget—hers was a silk corsage. The floral cluster was designed to be worn as a simple accessory on an outfit. It offered a touch, just a small delicate touch, for a woman who felt very large, very pregnant.

I did not understand all of that, no, of course not. I only knew I wanted to walk out of the store owning the item I clutched in my hand. To me, it made sense that we would both get what we wanted. Both, not either-or.

Without ceremony, without a sermon, she said, “No. We can’t buy both. There’s not enough money. I’ll put mine back.” And that is what she did. We paid, we walked out, and we made our way home in the brown and white Pontiac. No one even knew what had transpired. But I never forgot. On Sunday, I carried a small white straw purse, and she wore a simple, undecorated brown maternity top.

Now, looking back, I see she made a lifetime habit of putting hers back. She consistently, selflessly put my wants before her own. This beautiful woman is my Mother.

With seamless grace, she has made the transition from one generation of relationships to another. As Mother, as Grandmother, as Great Grandmother, she just keeps on getting it right.

As a Mother, she is a model. Ask me how I know coffee with a hurting friend is more important than a to-do list. As a Grandmother she is loyal. Ask the teenager who needed foolishness not to be found out. As a Great Grandmother, she is generous. Ask the little one who opens a birthday card to find $20 tucked inside.

Her secret? Love—love for the Lord, and love for people. Uncomplicated, simple, never-too-busy, straightforward love. Somewhere long ago she calculated love would involve sacrifice, putting hers back. Standing in the aisle of a store she modeled a message words could never articulate. Her actions have stood the test of time.

I wonder if she dreamed the day would come when we, her family, would all want to be with her, want to talk to her, want to get her advice, get her recipe, get her opinion, get her perspective. Somehow I don’t think so. That would have been too complicated. And putting it back isn’t complicated; it is a choice.

Mama, thank you. Thank you for then; thank you for now. I left with far more than a purse; I left with a lesson. I love you dearly for all the times you demonstrated that love means putting it back.

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

“Her children rise up and bless her . . . ” (Proverbs 31:28).

What meaningful life lesson comes to mind that you learned from your mother?