Death is Our Destiny

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

Solemnly, one by one, we filed by and tossed dirt and flowers onto her casket, which had already been lowered into the ground. I marveled at the weather; even on this chilly, windy January day, the sun was shining. She would have been pleased.

The eclectic gathering represented a broad swath of geography comprising her relationships: family, friends, co-laborers, church members, missionary colleagues, three adult children and spouses, eight granddaughters, and her beloved husband. From the present to the distant past, each had a reason to celebrate her life.

The Anglican priest, Father Michael, encouraged our group to linger. I lingered. I wanted moments alone to think about her life, and about death’s demand that I bid farewell. Though I could not literally be alone, I was alone in my thoughts. A day in 1979 came to mind, a day when she walked into my home and into my life. Now standing here at her grave, I wanted desperately to sing: Till we meet, till we meet, till we meet at Jesus Feet.

Connie sensed my need for a hug, and in a tearful embrace, we marveled at the beauty of the trees around the site. Our friend loved the forest, and the stately trees would always be a reminder of her appreciation of nature’s beauty.

This one-of-a-kind woman was Gosia Stiff, a woman of faith who made a habit of saying yes to God. Born in 1955 in Łodz, Poland, Gosia represented a generation of Poles whose parents suffered severely in World War II, who themselves witnessed the dramatic fall of Communism, and whose children grew up in a free and democratic nation.

After university, when her illegal choice could have sent her to prison, she was one of the first—in our living room—who said yes to God, and joined a clandestine global mission organization operating in subterfuge for the purpose of helping to fulfill the Great Commission.

When her beloved Poland threw off the yoke of Communism and its subservient rule to the Soviet Union, she said yes to God and moved her family to the heart of that very nation which had ruthlessly oppressed her own people, lo even her own family. All of those years of being forced in school to learn Russian would now be redeemed. Her language expertise equipped her to shine like stars in the universe as (she held) out the word of life (Philippians 2:15-16).

When her body suffered the ravages of cancer she said yes to God; not my will but Thine be done.

Unique features about her funeral service bear comment. Her husband Roy gave the homily. How often does that occur? This had been her request, and he somehow managed to make a powerful presentation, which glorified God and honored his wife.

Later, we collectively listened as her children and their spouses (with eight sweet granddaughters nearby) paid tribute. One could not escape the realization of Proverbs 31:28: Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her… 

Throughout the day, over and over again a phrase—The Gospel—occurred. For Gosia, the gospel framed her life and the gospel framed the comments about her life. She heard the gospel, she believed the gospel, and she gave her life for the spread of the gospel. Relentlessly, she shared her faith in Christ, and she trained countless others to do likewise.

Four bouts with cancer and twenty years of suffering failed to dampen her obedience to God and to His sovereignty in her life. She would take pause for treatment, and then she would persevere in her calling.

Gosia was direct, once asking a colleague if his sleepiness indicated boredom with the Scripture passage she was teaching. She was humorous, asking her husband what effort he was making to try and become an interesting person. She was determined, taking her family to visit art museums and attend operas in Moscow in order to fully embrace the Russian culture where they lived.  

Swirling inside of me now is sorrow at our loss, and yet joy for her gain. Death is our destiny; Death is demanding; Death is final—unless, like Gosia, we live our lives saying yes to God.

         In Memory

Małgorzata Hanna Stiff

21 February 1955 – 21 January 2018

My Ten Favorite Books and Why

It changed my life!

Say BOOK and you immediately have my attention. Books play a valuable role in my life, and there are some, in my own personal journey, which are both classics and antiques. As classics, they have stood the test of time; as antiques, they have grown more beautiful with age.

Such a list is unique to the one creating it, and is directly customized to the needs of the soul it represents. These books are like my intimate circle of friends. My hunger for growth and my need for transformation led to these volumes becoming treasures to me. Occasionally, this collection expands to allow another title to be added.

What criteria were required to make this list? 

• Books which are nonfiction teaching on how to live the Christian life.
• Books, that when I closed the back cover, made me say, Wow.
• Books I return to over and over and over again; they just keep on giving.
• Books that I love to give to others.

The Bible

“Your word, O Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.…Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:89,105). 

Blueprint for Revolution

This copy of the New Testament inspired me to pursue a revolution within myself and commit my entire life to The Greatest Revolutionary who ever lived.

Come Help Change the World, Bill Bright

Reading this book as a junior at Mississippi State University changed the entire trajectory of my life; I heard the clarion call for the Great Commission and have never since been the same.

Master Plan of Evangelism, Robert Coleman

Within these pages, Christ’s life is studied as the model for effective evangelism. How did Jesus accomplish that to which I wanted to commit my life?

Faith is not a Feeling, Ney Bailey

Knowing the author further endears this volume to me. "Taking God at His Word" practically jumps off the page as a recurring theme.

His Word in My Heart, Janet Pope

I often tell people, "This book—I promise—will change your life." Janet motivates the reader to memorize sequential verses in context (rather than scattered verses), thus trading one's own thoughts for God's thoughts.

Between Walden and the Whirlwind, Jean Fleming

As a busy mother, I found clarity of direction in a season of ongoing chaos. This practical teaching made so much sense, and it positively contributed to how I did life in our own whirlwind. It worked.

When You’re Tired of Treating the Symptoms and You’re Ready for a Cure, Give Me a Call, Henry Brandt

With an emphasis on the filling of the Holy Spirit, this book raised the bar for practical application of the Word of God (for me, that is).

A Touch of His Freedom, Charles Stanley

Indeed, “The truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Of all people, Charles Stanley made one of the single most significant contributions—through his writings—to my life and tenure in missions. (I wish he could know that.)

The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, Hannah Whitall Smith

This favorite for many earned a place on my list. Themes of abiding rest and continual victory permeate this author’s teaching.

They Found the Secret, V. Raymond Edman

Here is the testimony of twenty individuals who each discovered the same secret, “the exchanged life”.

Ok, my list of ten expands to eleven in order to create a rightful place for:

No Magic Formula, LeRoy Eims

This Marine and missionary makes it clear that the Christian life is a battle. His writing opened new vistas for me to realize that spiritual victory is my rightful inheritance in Christ, and that worship is a way of life.

Another day's list will incorporate Pilgrim's Progress and What is a Family, but for now I stop.

Living With Eternal Intentionality™

While our lists will differ, I would enjoy hearing from you. What books have made a difference in you walk with Jesus, and why? 

Three Most Important Relationships in the Life of a Mom

Standing in the market in Thailand, I studied my unfamiliar world. The noises of horns, the smells of incense, and the shouts of street vendors kept my head spinning like a top. The variety fascinated me. As I moved ahead in the surge of humanity (faking the fact that I fit in and pretending I knew what I was doing), I made sure not to trip on the uneven pavement while still absorbing the kaleidoscope of color all around me.

Then, her smile caught my attention, and I stopped. Before I knew it, Susan and I engaged in a meaningful conversation. Right on the edge of a dangerously busy street, she managed her business of selling scarves—silk and cashmere scarves. Her perfect English made conversation easy. We completed our business transaction, and chatted further about life—specifically, life as a mother.

Listening to her heartfelt concerns for her children nearby, I realized I could close my eyes and see myself in this same conversation with a mother in Brazil, a mother in South Africa, or a mother in Moldova. Susan loved her children, and carried a heavy burden to do her best in her role.

Around the world, a consistent longing connects mothers: the longing to do a good job. And we all ask the same common questions: How? How can I make a difference? How will I know I am getting it right, that I am on the right path, that I am headed in the right direction? 

If Susan and I were neighbors, if we saw each other on a regular basis, we would have time to delve into this topic in a meaningful manner. This is what I would offer her: I believe a mother makes her greatest contribution by investing in three relationships.

Her Relationship with the Lord

Life meanders like the Rio Grande River and life promises changes. If we as Moms try to get our equilibrium from our setting, circumstances, or contemporary trends, we will always be unstable. But when we immerse ourselves in our relationship with The Lord, we will reap the benefit of supernatural strength and stability. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), and in Him alone do we find a firm foundation on which to stand. As we transition from toddlers to teenagers, He provides supernatural resources needed for our ongoing challenges.

The single most important occurrence in the day of a mother is her time with Jesus. This will never be easy, but it will always be worth it. Perhaps it is only 10 minutes, but those 10 minutes set aside to read one verse and utter one prayer sets the course for the entire day.

Before you know it, the day will dawn when the ten minutes expand to thirty minutes and then—one day, believe it or not—to sixty minutes. The amount of time is not the issue, but the intent of the heart is. And remember, the Bible is better than Google®. Whatever is on your heart is already on the heart of God. Give Him a chance to weigh in with your thinking.

Allow your time alone with Jesus to transition from have to~ought to want to~long to. Let this sanctified set of minutes become music for your heart, rest for your soul, peace for your mind, and strength for your day.

Above all remember this precious portion of Scripture from Isaiah 40:11c: He gently leads those that are with young. You are with young, and He wants to gently lead you, not as a taskmaster demanding more bricks with less straw, but as a gentle Shepherd who loves you dearly.

Her Relationship with her Husband

From my vantage point in the empty nest, I champion the cause of Date Night in the life of a couple, regardless of the children’s ages. For Larry and me, this habit has served us well for nearly 45 years in marriage.

The logistical arrangements might fall to you, but go for it. Get the sitter, get it on the calendar, and get out the door.

Practical suggestions for how-to:

• Brainstorm with other moms and help each other with ideas.
• Be flexible on how, when, and what to do. Ages and stages of life need to be considered. An afternoon walk alone might be all that the budget will allow, but still, the time away can help breathe fresh air into your relationship.
• Concentrate on life-giving conversation. Movies are great fun, but balance these with eye-to-eye conversation, even if it is just hot chocolate across the table from each other in a neighborhood diner.
• Listen to each other; don't interrupt. And, make every effort to leave the criticism behind. 

Her Relationship with her Child

Debby's mothering mural is certainly not flawless, and there are spots which make it look like it was assaulted by a paint gun. (Some other time I will tell you about the night our organization’s international vice president came to visit.) But for now, let me encourage you to embrace your child's world at each stage, and grow with this little person you now hold in your arms. Enjoy childhood all over again, and always point them to the Giver of Life.

Sift life through the Word of God as you answer questions, solve problems, and celebrate milestones. In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:28a) provides a fabulous mission statement in your relationship with your child.

My hallmark suggestion is this: capitalize on communication. Engage with them—at bedtime, after school, in the car, and around the table. (And refuse to make your communication a monolog. Listen.) My Grandmother taught my Mother, who taught me, the principle of presence: Be there. Be available when they come home from school and talk to them. Be awake when they come in from a date, and talk to them. They will talk when they first come in; later the window of opportunity for transparent conversation closes. Though this advice is rife with inconvenience, I heartily endorse the decision.

George H. Bush in a magazine interview once said, “The greatest honor I have ever received is that my children still come home.” Good investments take time and attention. So do relationships. Invest in a future where your children, too, will still come home.

Living With Eternal Intentionality™

If you are a Mom: What one step will you take in each of these three relationships?

If you know a Mom: Which relationship will you highlight and commit to prayer in the life of a Mom you know and love?