What Did You Say?

That is not what I said.

How often do you find yourself being served the words, “That is not what I said”?

Placing my iPhone on the kitchen counter, I chuckled. It just happened again! "That is not what I said."

Our delicate art of communication requires skill. Focus, concentration, and effort, along with expertise, ingenuity, and imagination need to coalesce like brush strokes on a canvas in the exchange of information. Three recent situations remind me of this reality.

Here they are:

In giving the details of my scheduled hand surgery, a family member groaned upon hearing a description of the anticipated 23 stitches and the repercussions for my busy life. (What I said was 2 to 3 stitches, with quite a different recovery story!)

In hearing of our friends’ European travels, I smiled and envisioned their sublime pleasure moving serenely down the Danube on a Viking Cruise ship. (What I said was biking trip—not Viking trip—in Europe.)

My colleague took his elderly father to be fitted for a hearing aid and learned, to his shock, that he, too, needed to address his hearing issues. (What I said was, “You both need hearing devices.”)

Thankfully, these situations were benign, and each contained a thread of humor. But not all life grants tolerance. You and I have opportunity to bring clarity to the canvas of communication when we mindfully apply a few intentional guidelines:

Guideline #1

Listen not only to what is said, but learn to look for what is meant. You are hearing words which only represent the tip of the iceberg. What actually is beneath the surface and is promoting the expression of content?

Guideline #2  

Pay attention to tone and body language.“That’s ok with me,” might not really be ok.

Guideline #3

Pray silently while you listen; this is one situation in life where multitasking proves profitable. 

Guideline #4

Mentally place yourself in the other person’s position and ask the Holy Spirit to give you supernatural insight in communication.

Guideline #5

Hurry harms good communication. Today’s life pace fights against clear communication. (Do you agree?) Since we often find ourselves tossing words on the fly, let us at least be cognizant of the fact that haste is not helpful.

Guideline #6

Listen to learn, yes, but most of all…listen to love.

Living With Eternal Intentionality™

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19b)”

What recent communication snafu reminds you of your need to become a better listener?

Weariness Is Wearing Me Out!

Weariness nears epidemic status in today’s world. Everywhere I go I meet people who are running on empty. Rarely do I meet an individual who says, “Wow! I feel great!”

I am certainly no icon of physical fitness or robust health, but I have learned that life is best lived rested. Too much, too long, too hard are generally signs that we need to recalibrate. Though weariness cannot be avoided—that would constitute a wrong goal—all weariness does not fit into the same category.

Let me explain.

Healthy Reasons for Weariness:

Seeing a challenging job completed with excellence

Staying up several nights in a row night with a teething baby

Investing in the tumultuous life of a teen

Helping a grade school child follow through with a complicated assignment

Concluding a community, church or ministry project

Extending hospitality for a lengthy season to guests in one’s home

Unhealthy Reasons for Weariness:

Saying ‘yes’ when I should say ‘no’

Habitually watching a device too long in the evening

Chatting glibly on social media

Reading a book or magazine past bedtime

Agreeing to guilt commitments that drain the lifeblood from my valid commitments

Neglecting physical exercise

Living with unresolved conflict with one’s spouse

Making a mental diet of a problematic situation or relationship

Three simple suggestions one can implement today which have potential to turn weariness around:

Spend time with Jesus:

“Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). This sounds like a spiritual spa experience, but too often we overlook the supernatural power of consistently spending time alone in His Presence. To stand under the waterfall of His grace works wonders even when nothing else in life changes.

Spend time outside:

Fresh air is a gift to our psyche and it is nearby, uncomplicated, and economical. Don't overthink this; just spend time outdoors for refreshment.

Spend time under the covers:

A good night’s sleep is always at the top of the list. Go to bed earlier than usual for several nights in a row, and tell weariness to take a hike.

 Living With Eternal Intentionality™

Where in your life are your experiencing a healthy reason for weariness?

Likewise, where in your life do you discern an unhealthy reason for weariness?

What one step forward is needed for both situations?

Jesus says, “I have come that you might have life and that you might have it more abundantly, that it might be full and meaningful” (John 10:10). How does this take weariness into account?

What Are You Doing Here?

God asks Elijah a question: What Are You Doing Here?  Pushing past the centuries you and I ask, "Do we see ourselves in the story?"

From Faith to Fear

The characters—God, Elijah, Ahab, and Jezebel—draw us into this drama in I Kings 19:10-22. After a supernatural occurrence in chapter 18 where Elijah demonstrates heroic, victorious faith on Mount Carmel, he flees in fear to the desert and prays that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord…Take my life.” Gripped with fear, his faith melts, and he falls asleep. 

From God the Caterer

Within the narrative, we see the tender grace of God displayed as He supernaturally caters food and water right in the middle of the desert to meet the physical needs in Elijah’s life. (The ministry of food and sleep are real in the life of a child of God. Sometimes all we need is a nourishing meal and a restorative night’s sleep.)

Moving on…

From the Desert to the Cave

With more sleep and the second helping, so to speak, Elijah journeys forty days—forty days farther away from his enemies Jezebel and Ahab—and into a cave where he spends the night.

Then comes the question: What are you doing here, Elijah? God pursues His servant and poses the inquiry, because Elijah is not where God wants him to be.

Bring this forward to our own lives…

If honest, you and I have to admit that, yes, we do see ourselves in the story. I suggest that within each of us resides an Elijah:

Fear and fatigue contaminate our perspective of our situation.

Fear and fatigue drive us to places we should not go.

Fear and fatigue alter our perspective of God.

And yet, Elijah’s God is our God as well, and He meets us wherever we are. In a desert of discouragement and despair, or in a cave of fear, chaos and confusion, God joins us.

But the game changer is our response.

We are given the choice to stay where we are or to listen to the Voice of God and go back. When I acknowledge that I am not where God wants me to be—in a relationship, a pastime, a purchase, a perspective, a financial decision, or even a habit—I need to choose to go back to the center of God’s will, and under the protection of His Wings. 

Elijah had to answer God's direct question with intentional action. So do we.

Living With Eternal Intentionality™

Questions we find in Scripture arrest my attention. Over time, I invite you to journey with me through a series we will call “Classic Questions.” This blog post entry launched our first: What Are You Doing Here? (I Kings 19:10-22)

• When do you last remember being in a place where you did not need to be?
• How did you answer God's Classic Question: What are you doing here?
• What was the outcome?