First Aid for Our Marriage

Our wondrous day filled with laughter and sunshine took a turn toward sour when a glitch in technology grabbed the upper hand and dragged my beloved and me unwittingly down the wrong road. Larry viewed life one way and I viewed it another. And of all the trivial things—our roadblock started with “Pass me the remote.” Now, our earlier hours of strolling outdoors hand in hand, gazing at signs of spring, and relishing the thought of ice cream at the end of the trail, seemed a lifetime ago.

Before we knew what was happening, he and I found ourselves in a quagmire of misunderstanding. After several failed attempts to navigate the swamp, we raised the white flag and went to separate rooms to pray.

Sitting alone with the Lord—while wanting to deny my part in the dilemma—I sheepishly asked the Holy Spirit to give us direction so that our we would be stronger than either you or me. Then, I asked Jesus to be The Gate opening for us a new path forward, according to John 10:9; it also seemed fitting to ask Him to lead us from the desert we created for ourselves to the Green Pastures He promised to provide. And … I asked Him to be speaking to Larry. (I was not sure how my last prayer would be answered.)

Upon reconvening, I was gobsmacked. Larry shook his head and shared, “I have no idea why this came to mind, but while I was praying for us, The Lord brought the most unusual thought to mind.”

“Go on,” I replied, a bit skeptical.

“Long ago, in First Aid training, we were taught the fastest, the safest action to take when your clothes catch on fire, Stop, Drop, and Roll: stop in your tracks, drop to the ground, roll to thoroughly put out the fire.”

He continued, “I think you and I should apply these same three simple words to any situation where we start to draw a line in the sand with our communication. Rather than insisting on being right, let’s do this: Stop pushing to get our own way. Drop to our knees and pray. Roll the matter over to The Lord.”

Stop, Drop, Roll

The First Aid training idea seemed brilliant, and we both marveled that God really did answer our individual prayers for restitution and resolution. Bringing God into the equation brought supernatural resources beyond our human capacity. And of all things, He used the First Aid instruction as practical advice.

After nearly 47 years of marriage, Larry and I still remain fiercely vigilant in protecting our communication, since there is an unequivocal connection between the quality of our communication and the quality of our relationship. This commitment requires both of us, it requires tenacity, and beyond all else, it requires God. Only the Holy Spirit has the power to take us from the world of remotes through The Gate to Green Pastures.

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

What is your most recent memory of God demonstrating His presence in your marriage?

Where are the potholes and pitfalls in your marriage communication?

What would be your best advice on communication for your newly married self?

How I Survived Coach Stanton's Gym Class

Guest post by Grace Kavgian, my delightful, 11-year-old granddaughter

With joy, I invite you to read as my grand-darling Grace shares her recent candid essay. Grace’s assignment “I Survived” came from her 5th grade teacher, and her neighborhood P.E. class led by IU softball Coach Shonda Stanton supplied the ideal content.

And just so you know, this widely successful P.E. class rounded the bases into headline news!

Now for Grace’s story.

How I Survived Coach Stanton’s Gym Class

By Grace Kavgian

Because of the Coronavirus, we were stuck in our neighborhood. We couldn’t go to school. My mom made arrangements for the IU Softball Coach, our neighbor, to give us P.E. every day. I was excited, but I didn’t know how hard it’d be.

Since it had been cold recently, and now the temperature had gone up to the 60’s, it felt incredibly hot. I couldn’t believe I was wearing a sweatshirt!

“Grace! Vera!” My mom called. Right. I have P.E. today. “Get your water bottles and head over!”

IU Softball Coach Shonda Stanton would be running our gym class, and there was no way I was prepared. I followed my mom’s instructions, and since my younger sister Vera was still putting her shoes on, I made her a water bottle too.

I breathed in and out, just trying to make myself a little cooler. Since Coach Stanton was our neighbor, we only had to walk a little ways over. When we got there, I immediately stripped off my sweatshirt, and ditched it next to my water bottle. Josiah, her son, was in 3rd grade, and he was going to participate as well.

As soon as I had gotten a few breaths in she yelled “Alright, gimme ten jumping jacks, normal style!”

Oh no.

I counted my jumping jacks, one, two, three, four… And later, ten. We worked very hard with more exercises, and I finally got to drink some water. I was panting, and I chugged half my water.

“Okay! Good warm-ups!” She called.

That was just warm-ups!?!?!?!?!?!?

She pulled out some small hurdles and a rope ladder. First, we had to jump forwards over the hurdles, and then backwards over them, ten whole times. I started for my water, but she was telling us to jump back and forth over them with JUST our right foot. No break for me!

As I walked up, Vera and Josiah were halfway through. I managed ten, but they were done first. Next, we repeated the exercise, but on our left feet. Being ambidextrous, I was the first one done. Barely.

Then, all of the jump-over-the-hurdles-ten-times exercises were repeated, but sideways. Dang! I was sooooo tired. And then, there was the rope ladder. We weren’t actually going to climb that, were we? There was nowhere to put it, anyway.

“OK!” Coach Stanton called. “Everybody to the ladder!”

We had to jump in each one, skipping none, on one foot. Man, that was hard. I tend to jump really far due to my long legs, so I skipped a ton. I went back and started over. That time, I made it into every square.

Later, Tatum Rose came along. She had been taking a walk, and decided she wanted to be in o the whole gym business. She did a few exercises with us, and then went home.

Finally, the end of P.E. came. I was tired. Not just tired, pooped! Completely pooped! I sat on the concrete, ready to leave. Then, the worst thing in the world happened. Vera asked Coach Stanton if we could do a jogging exercise. We had to jog one lap around our neighborhood trail. We all took off, and I was last. The slowest. But, ¾ of the way, I pulled ahead of Vera! I knew I would have enough power to pull ahead of Josiah, too. But no. I didn’t. I took second place, and drank half of the remainder of my water.

Finally, it was time to leave, and so we left. When we got home, I poured the remainder of my water on my head. I ran inside, put on a face mask, and lay in my bed until dinner.

The Rest of The Story

Coach Shonda Stanton’s P.E. class brought a game changer to her neighborhood and attracted the attention of reporters. IndyStar, The Indiana Daily Student, and Big Ten Network documented the newsworthy COVID-19 event. (Click the links to read further.)

Photos by Coleman Kavgian

When Pain Partners With Praise

Guest Post: A Praise Coach Tells Her Story

Praise is an intentional choice we make to call attention to our God and His greatness in the midst of all of our circumstances.

Hi! I am Hannah Picard, the founder of Made to Praise and the first-ever Praise Coach. The passion of my heart is to call attention to God’s greatness in my life and equip others to do the same.

I’ve come to realize in my journey, that praise is not always pompoms and praise songs, answered prayers and blessings, but more often praise is a choice to intentionally call attention to His greatness in the midst of really hard or even mundane times. This means calling attention to His greatness as our Comforter in the midst of grief, Security in the midst of uncertainty, Companion in the midst of isolation, Love in the midst of fear, Hope in the midst of darkness and so much more…

In August 2018, my husband Jonny and I found out that we were expecting our first baby. Everything seemed to be going well until our 21-week gender reveal ultrasound. And, as Providence would have it, this was also the day before our major move from Florida to Ohio.

At our appointment, we excitedly found out we were having a baby boy, but quickly learned from our doctor the tragic news that he did not have any amniotic fluid around him. The high-risk team recommended that day that we terminate his little life due to the reality he and I both were in danger.

Termination was not an option for my husband and me, as we had just heard his perfect little heartbeat. With all our hearts we believed Jesus would guide us through to the end—an end we believed could be miraculous!

Important side note from my life: In 2008, I unexpectedly lost my only sister after years of hardships and relentless prayers of believing God could do the miraculous in her life. I never saw that miracle come to pass. Now, I found myself again facing another journey of choosing to trust God, no matter what the end would be, and choosing to hope and believe this could be different.

Team Asher!

Once in Ohio, the first of many miracles connected us with Dr. Radha Reddy at Miami Valley Hospital in Dayton. Dr. Reddy heard our story and moved heaven and earth to see us on December 24th, Christmas Eve. At our appointment, she and the team determined that bed rest in the hospital would be our best plan until Asher made his own arrival or an emergency happened that deemed it necessary to take him sooner. No one knew what the end would bring, but we united our hearts in hopes for the best. Together, we became Team Asher!

I entered the hospital, and we embarked on a 95-day journey of praise. For 65 of those days I was confined to bed rest. Each day I faced a choice: I had to choose—as an act of my will—to call attention to God’s greatness in the midst of our uncertainty and the grim outlook we were given.

Gloom Room

Daily, I allowed myself entry into what I called my gloom room, a place to be sad and to be honest with the Lord. Then, after spending time in this space, I would, figuratively, come out, and intentionally call attention to God’s greatness.

I called attention to His comfort. I called attention to His voice encouraging me through His Word. I called attention to His great love through the visitors and staff that came by each day to support me. I called attention to His great hope in believing and speaking His word. I called attention to His timing, even with a “placental abruption” at Day 10, which threatened to bring Asher’s immediate arrival. I called attention to His provision as all our bills, which mounted to over a half-million dollars, were covered, I called attention to His peace, when I doubted and wondered about our outcome.

Together, Jonny and I called attention to His grace when we found ourselves angry with God at the thought life might not work out like we prayed. As parents in pain, we didn’t do it perfectly, but with His great help, we made it through day by day by day.

Miraculous Birth

Then… on day 65, March 12th, 2019, I called attention to His mighty, miracle-working power when Asher Benjamin Picard arrived, and he was PERFECT! Our baby boy—4 pounds,13 ounces, 18 inches long—had no respiratory problems at all.

For precaution and stability, he spent one day on the ventilator and four days on CPAP, a high-tech breathing machine. Then, for the next 32 days we stayed with him in the NICU as he grew stronger and prepared to face the outside world.

Life Lessons

Now, more than a year has passed since I spent those painful, uncertain days at Miami Valley Hospital. Though doctors don’t often speak of the miraculous over science, our Team Asher certainly does! And, lessons learned from that journey stay with me:

1. God is certain in the midst of uncertainty!

2. Praise is an intentional choice we make to call attention to our God and His greatness in the midst of all of our circumstances.

3. There is a difference between in all circumstances and for all circumstances. Notice, I did not say “for all of our circumstances.” I don’t praise Him for death, but I do praise Him for His comfort during times of loss. I don’t praise Him for brokenness, but I do praise Him for His healing power. I don’t praise Him for the COVID-19 virus, but I do praise Him for His wisdom and guidance to socially distance, so more people don’t get sick.

Going Forward

“Let everything that has breath praise the Lord” (Psalm 150:6). I believe there is always a way to call attention to His greatness no matter what we are walking through. If you are struggling, especially in these days of uncertainty, I would love to encourage you regardless of what you are facing. I invite you to reach out to me at hannah@madetopraiseusa.com.

And, if you want to read more of our journey and see photos from Asher’s first year, beginning with 65 days of praise at Miami Valley Hospital, we blogged about it here at madetopraiseusa.com/blog.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story. Now, I would love to hear yours!

Guest Post by Hannah Picard - Hannah describes herself in these words: I am a Jesus-loving girl, wife to Jonny and momma to Asher. I get to stay home with Asher, work part-time as a Praise Coach, and experience God each day in a myriad of ways - through friendship, food, naps, flowers, walks, His Word, and so much more!”