Guest post by Betty Hower
My husband Dale burst through the door of our home and proclaimed, “The birth mother wants the baby back!”
I was standing at the kitchen sink facing the door, so I saw his face immediately, and the impact of those words knocked me off my feet, literally. Tenderly, he picked me up from the floor and laid me on the bed. Two hours later, our Harrison Luke was gone . . . along with all that went into being his parents. He had a name. He was in our hearts. Placing him in that car seat was like laying him into a casket.
The Ministry of Presence
“Don’t underestimate the value of being with — the ministry of presence.”
Dale immediately called four friends, who dropped what they were doing and came to sit with me. Though relatively new in our city, we had begun to make friendships through our church. (To this day those friends are dear treasures to me.) He also phoned my long-time friend since we were sixteen-year-olds, who sent beautiful flowers to show her love. These gestures of kindness from my community taught me a life lesson: Don’t underestimate the value of being with — the ministry of presence.
In these painful, tumultuous waters of loss, I could not find my sea legs. Heartbroken and grief-stricken, I repeatedly asked the unanswerable, devastating questions.
But three days later, the One from Whom I really needed to hear spoke.
His Way is Perfect
“And the peace that accompanied God’s work in my soul was beyond understanding.”
Opening my Bible to Psalm 18:30 I read, “As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried; He is a SHIELD to all who take refuge in Him.”
Suddenly, at that moment, I knew in my heart, mind, and spirit that God was speaking directly to me. And His word, being living and active, hit its mark. Without knowing why and without specifics, I became keenly aware that God was shielding us from adopting the wrong child.
It was a most dramatic event because, even though I did not just get over the loss, I now could cry tears of thanksgiving for a specific word from the Lord and for His faithful shield. Supernaturally, the joy of that encounter began to exceed the pain of our loss. And the peace that accompanied God’s work in my soul was beyond understanding.
The story doesn’t end here. Over time, God granted me assurance of His intervention in our plans, and He continued His work of building our family and building my faith. And through the journey, I learned, as Debby referenced in another blog, For This I Have Jesus.
Living With Eternal Intentionality®
“He has set eternity in their hearts” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).
When have you received devastating news that hit you at the core of your being?
How did God enable you to move forward?
What are your reflections on the topic Betty described as “The ministry of presence”?
Meet my beloved friend, Betty. Betty Hower loved her calling to vocational ministry with Cru and First Presbyterian Church in Jackson, MS. In the decades since, she has ministered through her church's women's ministry and independent city-wide Bible studies, while also encouraging social workers through Congregations for Kids, an organization where faith and government work together to come alongside staff and children in the foster system. She enjoys tennis and Pilates. Betty is married with two adult sons and daughters-in-love and resides in Charlotte, NC.
