Ambiguity on the Side of an Icy Mountain

I willed myself to accept the ambiguity, hunker down, and lean into the piercing wind.

Amidst a howling wind on the side of a steep, icy mountain, my life delivered a lasting definition of ambiguity.

Without warning, a menacing cloud swept in bringing with it blinding snow and ice-pelting wind. WHITE OUT—the dread of every downhill skier. Enveloped by the elements, I immediately stopped, planted my poles, and gripped the sharp, uphill edges of my skies into the mountain. Fighting vertigo, I sought to ascertain my position in relation to the drop-off. Trying to inch forward, I realized the distance to the edge might be near, so I halted and hugged myself to maintain balance.

In this overwhelming sense of isolation, I squelched my impulse to panic. Despite the disorientation, common sense told me to stay put. My calculated decision required bulldog tenacity to maintain, but I willed myself to accept the ambiguity, hunker down, and lean into the piercing wind.

Time froze in this treacherous situation.

Finally, peeking out from behind my hands, I witnessed the cloud clearing and the light returning. Relief! Rattled but intact, I tentatively calculated my surroundings, pointed my skis downhill, and left my hard-earned definition of ambiguity on the side of the mountain.

… until our recent white-out of COVID-induced ambiguity.

Now, an avalanche of uncertainty affects my family, my friends, my colleagues, and it affects me! On every front—whether in Zoom meetings, planning sessions, or Face Time visits—this uninvited guest saunters in and takes a seat, seeking to commandeer our lives and sabotage our calendars.

There are no masks, no sanitizers, and no social distance guidelines to deal with this culprit. Yet, like gripping the side of a mountain with the sharp, uphill edges of skies, you and I need to grip the realities of our lives with a mental vigilance and wait for the bitter, icy winds to pass.

Enlisting the help of an acrostic, I offer my suggestions:

A: Acknowledge the high-intensity degree of ambiguity which exists in our current way of life

M: Make a conscious decision to peacefully accept the challenges we face

B: Be aware of the far-reaching tentacles of ambiguity, but resist its domineering control

I: Insist on pursuing a meaningful life today, even in our trying circumstances

G: Get outdoors; grill, go on a walk, sit by a stream, buy a kite and watch it soar

U: Understand that—honestly—we never possess our future, even in the most ideal conditions

I: Intentionally lower the bar on expectations

T: Take time daily to meditate on the promises of Scripture, which defy ambiguity

Y: Yield to God. Make every effort to be both realistically-minded and spiritually-guided

And let us join our voices and praise God that ambiguity is not a part of His character and will never be among His attributes!

Living With Eternal Intentionality®

What is your greatest challenge in dealing with the COVID-induced ambiguity?

Where is God in the midst of your ambiguity?

Please offer your suggestions here for moving forward into this ongoing “unknown.”

Do You Have A Hard Time Saying “No”?

Guest post by my friend and respected colleague, Bob Tiede

Do you have a hard time saying, “No”?

If “YES” then this post is for you!

If “NO” then please share this post with all your friends who do and move on to something else!

If you do have a hard time saying “No” may I ask you a couple of questions?

• When you are asked to do something for someone do you almost always instantly say, “Yes?”

• And then within minutes (sometime seconds) do you ask yourself, “Why did I commit to that when I am already way overloaded?”

If you almost always say, “Yes” it is most likely that you have developed a “Knee-Jerk” response of saying, “Yes” whenever asked to do something!

Truth is – it would be almost impossible for you to instantly change your “Knee-Jerk” responses from “Yes” to “No.”

So would you like a couple of questions that you can begin to immediately use that will allow you to become more thoughtful at when to say “Yes” or when to say “No?”

Can you please tell me more? Sometimes just hearing more of the details of the request will give you more time to consider and, if necessary, to craft a very diplomatic “No.”

Can you please give me a day ( a few minutes/an hour/a week) to give your request the careful consideration it deserves?

Observation: Neither of the two questions above requires you to say “No.” And in fact, a day later you can still say “YES!” to any request you want to help with.

The value of the two questions is that they both buy you time to make a wiser decision and then when necessary, the time to craft a thoughtful “No” response! For example: “I am honored that you thought of me. If I had the time this is something I would enjoy doing and especially for you. However, as I have given careful consideration to all of the things already on my plate I must regretfully decline.” (You get the idea.)

My lifelong mentor Bobb Biehl says,

“Wisdom is placing Process between Opportunity and Decision.”

For example:

Unwise Person:

Opportunity: Do you want to buy my car?

Process: None

Decision: YES!

Wise Person:

Opportunity: Do you want to buy my car?

Process: (Often the “Process” will be a series of appropriate questions)

• What kind of car is it?

• How many miles does it have?

• Has it ever been in an accident?

• Is there anything wrong with it?

• Why do you want to sell it?

• How much are you asking?

Decision: Thanks for the opportunity – but for now I will need to pass!

• So next time you are asked to do something – can you ask:

• Can you please tell me more?

• Can you please give me a day to give your request the careful consideration it deserves?

If “YES!” you are well on your way to becoming a Wiser Person!

You would also be wise to put your own “Wise Process” between “Opportunity” & “Decision?”

Your “Process” might include questions like:

1. What exactly am I being asked to do?

2. How much time with it take?

3. By when must it be completed?

4. What will I have to say “No” to in order to say “Yes” to this?

5. Or what present commitments will have to be delayed in order to say “Yes” to this?

6. Will doing this help me move forward on my current commitments/goals?

7. Will this require travel? If “Yes” how might that affect my family?

8. Might there be a financial cost to me personally or to my organization?

9. What might the benefits of saying “Yes” be for me or my organization?

10. What would you add?

Remember, you can still say “Yes” to those opportunities that pass the test of your process! But by having a process for making decisions you can now graciously decline those that you really do not have current capacity to undertake.

About the Author: “You don't need all the right answers, just a few of the right questions.” -Bob Tiede

Bob has been on the staff of Cru for 48 years. He currently serves on the U.S. Leadership Development Team and is passionate about seeing leaders grow and multiply their effectiveness. Bob's blog, LeadingWithQuestions.com is followed by leaders in over 190 countries. Bob and his wife, Sherry, live in Plano, TX and are blessed with 4 incredible children and 6 remarkable grandchildren. You can reach Bob at bob.tiede@cru.org. 

This post is an excerpt from Chapter 24 of "Now That's a Great Question" and that if you enjoyed this chapter you can request your free download of the entire book - all 30 Chapters of "Now That's a Great Question" @ LeadingWithQuestions.com/resources.

His Glory on Display

Walking across a stage where I was the only audience in the theatre …

A sharp predawn knock on the door interrupted our much-needed deep sleep. Darkness confused my sense of orientation; where was I? The second knock brought clarity. “Mr. and Mrs. Thompson, it is time for the morning game drive.”

That’s it! We were in Africa at the Sabi Sands Game Reserve for our dream-come-true safari. Yes! Tossing aside the cobwebs of sleep, and crawling out from under the mosquito netting, I bounded out of bed. That in itself was historic—I never bound out of bed. I prefer, like the birds, to wake up slowly. Oh, but this was no ordinary day, and not a moment should be wasted.

Excitement propelled my feet to the floor where an awareness of cold concrete shot a shiver through my body. I quickly made my way forward before stopping dead in my tracks. “Oh dear. I remember being warned to wear slippers to avoid stepping on a scorpion. Yikes! But first, I must check my slippers to confirm that no scorpion nestled inside them overnight.” Details… “Happiness is very demanding,” I muttered to myself.

Moving with a blitheness defying my own person, I mentally checked off items needed for the game drive. Jacket, hat, sunscreen, mosquito repellent, and of course, the camera. (check, check, check, check, check) What about sunglasses? Better take them, just in case.

Hurriedly, I dressed, prodding Larry along with my perceived need for urgency. Pulling on my cargo pants and long-sleeved shirt, I glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Stay focused,” I told myself.

Now I was moving at a clip and gaining equilibrium for making my way to the lodge where a steaming cup of strong coffee awaited my arrival. I could already taste the richness. Trading slippers for boots, I sat on the teak wood couch, noting the musty smell of the thatched roof, and began the arduous task of lacing up my essential footwear.

Mid-way the job, I breathed a silent prayer of gratitude for the blessing of being here. Thanks to our dear and generous friends, the safari was a gift following our intense week of global leadership meetings near Cape Town, South Africa. Yesterday’s seven-hour drive transported us from a world of conference familiar to this world of unknown suspense. No amount of effort could quell the jitters building within me.

Whew! At last, I felt properly adorned in the khaki garb and ready for my experience in the bush. Grabbing my jacket, I bade Larry a quick good-bye. “See you in the Land Rover! I’ll try to get good seats.”

And then it happened — as I grabbed the handle and threw open the door, my world came to a screeching halt. I froze in my tracks as my eyes attempted to tell my mind what I just encountered.

My whole being whispered a holy “Wow!” In the doorway of our bungalow, I came face to face with a parade of nature, and I was completely unprepared to process the glory of it all. “ELEPHANTS! ELEPHANTS!” I screamed. In spectacular display, God stopped time and offered me a private viewing of His glorious creation. Not in a zoo, not in a circus, but in their own habitat, these glorious creatures paraded as if walking across a stage where I was the only audience in the theatre.

Moving from my right to my left these mammoth beings steadily marched, intent on one purpose: water. Huge, medium, baby—at least 50 of them—all varieties comprised this eclectic herd. Some had tusks, some did not. Their tails flipped and their ears fanned while their trunks danced back and forth. The grace and speed with which they moved defied belief. Mesmerized, I gazed upon the grandeur. Oh, I felt small, so extremely small.

Overwhelmed, I came face to face with the unfathomable greatness of God as I stood captivated by this heaven-sent drama. Using the elephants, my Father threw back the curtain of my hitherto limited understanding and drew me to Himself. The portrayal of His greatness through this expression of His wild creation caught me completely off guard. Never would I again be the same. In spellbound worship, I could only utter, “Good Morning, Africa.”

And all these years later, I still stand still in my mind each time I remember. “His greatness no one can fathom” (Psalm 145:3).

Living with Eternal Intentionality®

When did God reveal Himself to you through an encounter with nature?

How has this continued to remind you of His love for you?