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How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

How to Affair-Proof Your Marriage? Put down your iPhone.

Why? Constant preoccupation with one’s iPhone is a distraction.

Distraction says that my focus on someone not here is more important than my focus on you, one who is right here. My attention toward them is more significant than my attention toward us.

Distraction leads to distance. Distance depicts parallel lives, meaning our lives run on separate tracks, and our tracks seldom overlap.

Distance leads to discouragement. Discouragement settles like a dark storm cloud over our relationship, and discouragement makes it harder to persevere and easier to pull away.

Discouragement leads to disillusionment. Disillusionment speaks lies and tempts us to conclude that our marriage is too hard: the assistant is too pretty, the children’s soccer coach is too fit, you are too busy, and I am too bored.

Then, disillusionment leads to…well, let’s not go there!

Distraction, Distance, Discouragement, Disillusionment, and ...

Perhaps I am just old and bold, but I feel strongly about this simple suggestion. Nearly forty four years of marriage to the same man has taught me the incomparable value of good communication.

T a l k i n g  t o  E a c h  O t h e r  

 - is a simple protection against each of the D words listed above. I am not naive enough to believe this is foolproof; it is not. But it is significant.

Talking to each other says,

You matter right now more than anyone else in the world.

Talking to each other says,

I care about what's happening in your heart.

Talking to each other says,

We are worth a focused conversation.

Therefore, my strong suggestion is: to affair-proof your marriage, put down your iPhone. To be really daring, turn it off.

Living with eternal intentionality: What do you think?