Forgive? No Way

Every one says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive. C.S. Lewis

I found myself sitting beside a stranger on an airplane; however, our commonality in Christ provided instant connectivity. Beverages and pretzels came and went as our conversation continued. God’s incredible work in and through this individual and his church amazed me.

Sadly, though, the longer gentleman talked, the more a different storyline emerged. His focus shifted from God to people, and his attitude and tone became altered. His jaw tightened and his joy faded. Subtly, a shadow crept across his face; lines of hardness formed, and his radiant glow gave way to cloudiness.

Unforgiveness now stood as master over his once godly relationships. My seatmate felt wronged, and found himself unable to move forward. Simple miscommunications led to greater misunderstandings, which led to serious mistrust, which led to his service being marginalized.

I ached with this individual. How could this possibly happen? Emotional and spiritual agony controlled his very being. Where would his journey end? Furthermore, can you and I see ourselves mirrored in his situation?

Unforgiveness sits viciously on the sideline of our relationships, always waiting to jump in and sabotage.

Miscommunication or unfulfilled expectations are the common causes.

The paradox:                                                                                                                      Forgiveness operates at the core of our Christian faith - in our relationship with Christ, and in our eternal destiny. Somehow, though, forgiveness often fails to permeate our temporal human relationships. What you and I relish with Jesus, we readily withhold from others.

Disconnect exists between our belief and our behavior.

The patterns:                                                                                                                          Unforgiveness spans the globe, and is no respecter of persons, countries, cultures, ages, or genders. Unforgiveness is always painful, ugly, and destructive.                                                             Unforgiveness eats away at our soul. (I think of the open market in Thailand where people place their feet into a deep glass aquarium and allow fish to eat off the dead skin. Disgusting.)             Unforgiveness always seeps out like a broken septic tank - it refuses to be contained.                             Unforgiveness targets relationships with people we love and work alongside.

For you, for me, for my seatmate, there is no middle ground. Either I forgive or I do not forgive. A holding pattern does not exist.

The pivot:                                                                                                                                  Forgiveness is always the right option.                                                                                         Forgiveness is essential to a joyful, peaceful life.                                                                               Forgiveness is a choice, a decision of the will. I rarely recall feeling my way to forgiveness. (Feelings may or may not cooperate.)                                                                                                       Forgiveness rests on Jesus and moves forward with R.E.L.E.A.S.E.  

So please:                                                                                                                                         Before God, on your knees in the privacy of your own closet, declare the person and the matter released. If it helps, lift your open hands up to heaven and let it go. I came to set the prisoner free and suddenly discovered the prisoner was me.

Living with Eternal Intentionality: Do you stand at the crossroads in a relationship that needs the action of forgiveness? Travel light my pilgrim friend, and release the baggage with the decision to forgive.

The Sacred Space of Grandmothering

Earlier, I shared a blog post titled Why I love Being a Grandmother. Since then, after more musings, I have added to the list. Please join me as I consider further the sacred space of grandmothering.

Revisit the Fun:

In being a Grandmother, one gets to revisit the delightful places of childhood – the places that pass by much too quickly with one's own children the first time around. The games (endless hours of Monopoly), the toys (Madame Alexander Dolls with plenty of life left within them), the Legos, and the books – oh the books! Dr. Seuss and Richard Scary still bring giggles, not to mention the intrigue of audiobook books like The Tale of Peter Rabbit with that rascal of a rabbit and his timeless shenanigans.

Release the Seriousness:

"Gammy, I really have to tell you something. Your caramel cake is just not good. It needs some work." (She is right.)

Yes indeed; you may certainly order the large size milkshake instead of the small size.

Wade in the stream? Sure thing! Just remove your shoes so we don’t get in trouble with Mom.

Relive the Memories:

When I was a little girl….

How many times am I tempted to go there? Guarding against overdose, I do love to share my personal story with them.

For instance,

When I was a little girl, Great Gammy French braided my hair, too.

When I was a little girl, I took ballet and tap lessons, just like you.

When I was a little girl, we had no seatbelts; now buckle yourself in.

When I was a little girl, my favorite food to order in a restaurant was a grilled cheese sandwich. 

When I was a little girl, we did not go to the doctor's office for our immunizations. The nurse came to school and gave them to us. One time I had a reaction, and my Mother came to class and took me home.

Reset the Priorities:

It is bedtime, but let’s go outside and catch fireflies!

Yes, you have permission to read for a little bit longer.

Relax the Rules:

Why of course, you can have brownies for breakfast; why not?

Or

Choose what you would like for lunch; do you want mac and cheese or do you want cereal? Cereal? Then cereal it will be.

Relish the joy of God’s grace:

The sacred space of grandparenting highlights God’s amazing demonstration of His grace - His pure unmerited favor. In the pursuit of parenting, none of us gets it just right the first time around. To be given another go is splendid. Do you agree?

Living with Eternal Intentionality: I want to learn from you. What do you love about being a grandparent? (Or what did you love about your own grandparent?)

God Enjoyed

Resources enrich our lives. One of my favorites is a classic, The Valley of Vision.

My introduction to The Valley of Vision came, perhaps, a decade ago. I participated in a church service where the corporate worship included a prayer from this collection of Puritan Prayers. Since, that service, this small leather volume, whose title comes from Isaiah 22:1, has been a personal devotional treasure.

I like John Piper’s description:                                                                                                        The The Valley of Vision is a collection of Puritan prayers…they are thoughtful, reflective, and meditative. They’re even written in a certain kind of cadence…, which is probably very intentional, so that they might be used in corporate settings. But they came out of a deep heart of communion with God.

Further, 

D. A. Carson says,                                                                                                                          The prayers in The Valley of Vision are steeped in Scripture, yet never succumb to mere formula. They are theologically fresh and vibrant, yet they are rooted in confessionalism. They range over a huge sweep of Christian experience and devotion, but they are never merely esoteric or cute. They brim with deep emotion and transparent passion, but they carefully avoid mere sentimentalism. This is a book that teaches readers to pray by example.

God Enjoyed

Thou Incomprehensible But Prayer-Hearing GOD,

Known, but beyond knowledge, revealed, but unrevealed, my wants and welfare draw me to thee, for thou hast never said, “Seek ye me in vain’.

To thee I come in my difficulties, necessities, distresses;

possess me with thyself,

  with a spirit of grace and supplication,

  with a prayerful attitude of mind,

  with access into warmth of fellowship,

so that in the ordinary concerns of life my thoughts and desires may rise to thee,

and in habitual devotion I may find a resource

  that will soothe my sorrows,

  sanctify my successes,

  and qualify me in all ways for dealings

  with my fellow men.

I bless thee that thou hast made me capable

  of knowing thee, the author of all being,

  0f resembling thee, the perfection of all excellency,

  of enjoying thee, the source of all happiness.

O God, attend me in every part of my arduous

  and trying pilgrimage;

I need the same counsel, defense, comfort

  I found at my beginning.

Let my religion be more obvious to my conscience,

  more perceptible to those around.

While Jesus is representing me in heaven,

  may I reflect him on earth,

While he pleads my cause, may I show forth his praise.

Continue the gentleness of thy goodness towards me,

And whether I wake of sleep, let thy presence go with me,

  thy blessing attend me.

Thou hast led me on and I have found thy promises true,

I have been sorrowful, but thou hast been my help,

  fearful, but thou hast delivered me,

 despairing, but thou hast lifted me up.

Thy vows are ever upon me,

And I praise thee, O God.

Did you find this prayer enriching and worshipful? Such a feast awaits you in an entire volume, Valley of Vision, edited by Arthur Bennett and published by Banner of Trust.

Living with Eternal Intentionality: What spiritual resource, besides The Scriptures, has God used to enrich your walk with Him?